Second Chance
by Cuzie
Summary: Sometimes, as in whenever I’ve had just a little too much to drink, I wonder what the hell you and I were doing in our past life. AkuRoku, AU, Oneshot


**Second Chance **

Notes: My first story and of course it's AkuRoku. Please review, I'd love to hear your opinion!

Inspiration (song): Red – Pieces

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have borrowed characters belonging to Square Enix for entertainment purposes only. I am making no profit of this.

I know that one of the things that annoyed you the most about me, is that I think too much.

At least that's what you'd complain about when I didn't want to go cliff-diving in the moonlight with you (an idea you snapped out of thin air one night we were walking home from the movies) or when I didn't drown a bottle of wine in less than twenty minutes like you easily did. You'd get those kinds of godforsaken ideas, usually at the weirdest times, and you'd drag me along to fulfill them. I didn't mind, of course. We'd been friends since we were kids, and I'd gotten used to your never-ending supply of energy a long time ago, maybe even grown fond of it. At least it was never boring around you, you made sure of that.

Like that time when we spent an entire school day on the roof of the school building, watching our anxious teachers look for us throughout the entire school while we enjoyed the warming sun shining down on us from our perfect hiding place. We'd listen to music from your iPod and at one point, you'd talk about how your parents' divorce was making you lose all faith in humanity and I'd talk about Cloud's death. These were topics we rarely spoke of, probably because it hurt too much, but every once in a while we would both need to get it off our chests and I knew that the one person I could talk to that would actually _understand_, was you.

My mother once told me that none of the people who knew us could ever really figure out why you and I were such great friends. After all, we came across as complete opposites.

You were spontaneous, outgoing, adventurous, loud and arrogant.

I was more of the quiet, thoughtful kind of guy. At least that's how most of our mutual friends knew me. But they didn't see me the way you did. When it was just the two of us, I would let go of everything that held me back and I'd join you on any adventure or exploration that was next in line, sometimes even initiate them.

By the time we were 12, we knew every corner and every street of the entire town after our countless quests to new places.

And even though we were so very different, I think that your impatience and hurried decisions were some of the things that I liked the most about you.

Being with you meant being myself, with all that implied.

And for a long time, things were going well. I was never the brightest kid in class, seeing as I never found motivation to really give a shit about all the things that I found useless, but I managed.

I had my dark days that would start with me waking up from disturbing nightmares to my own terrified screaming. Sometimes I would walk through the hallways at school and all around me I could see Cloud, leaning against a locker and watching me walk by or just appearing in the middle of a crowd before vanishing again. I knew that I was hallucinating, I knew that I was only seeing my dead older brother because I was suppressing my sorrow, but I just couldn't bear to miss him all the time.

On those days, you would take one look at me and your eyes would darken, your smile would freeze and you would tighten your reassuring grip on my shoulder. Because you _knew_.

And then some days it would be your turn, you would walk slower than usual and you would wince if I touched you or spoke in a soft voice and I would _know_ that you'd been beaten again.

I would swear that I'd get your dad assassinated if he laid a hand on you again and you would chuckle darkly and we'd cut class for the rest of the day.

But all in all, we did all right. Some days were great and some days were simply shitty, but that's life and we made it through none the less.

We didn't fight much, you and me. We could have heated discussions and sometimes we'd smack each other when the other one was acting stupid, but nothing too serious.

Until high school, that was.

They say that high school's a bitch, but it wasn't so much school itself that was the problem. It was everything else.

Namine moved to town in the beginning of our freshmen year, and since I shared some of my classes with her, she quickly became one of my closest friends. Too close, if you had a say in it. Which you didn't, of course. You just bitched about it when you were drunk, something that happened on a more and more regular basis over the years, but I was usually equally drunk so I didn't really care.

I should've realized that you were one of the people that were doomed to try drugs sooner or later.

Sooner, in your case.

Young as I was, I didn't really understand back then that it was going to turn into such a huge problem. I was used to your massive intake of alcohol and figured that a few pills now and then wouldn't add that much to it. Another proof of how incredible naïve I was.

Your situation at home only got worse over the years, something that only made your drug abuse more severe.

I never really understood why you still let it happen, even when you became stronger than your dad. You'd always been tall and lean, but you were strong as fuck, something I'd encountered more than once in some of our drunken fistfights.

I guess your inner child was still afraid of him. You would still flinch whenever someone mentioned his name and you'd picked up a habit of never actually looking into people's eyes. Except mine, of course. I was the only exception. It was only I who got to gaze into your deep, gorgeous, emerald green eyes.

Namine and I were never really a couple. Hell, we never even kissed. She was a drunken one-time-fuck, and from the little I remember, she was merely acceptable. You had left the party early with a few of the guys you sometimes shared cocaine with, and I'd gotten myself sloshed. Somehow she and I ended up stumbling into a bedroom, and when I woke up she was gone. Not that I cared though.

But you did, for some reason. You were furious. You tried to hide it, but I know you oh so well.

It crushed you completely. That was our first big fight. I remember everything in painfully clear flashbacks. The screaming, the yelling. Your _how-could-you_ and my _why-the-fuck-do-you-care_, followed by your _I-don't-dammit _and my inevitable _then-what-the-hell-is-this-about_.

I didn't understand, and I don't think that you did either. You were so frustrated you could barely speak in full sentences, much less explain what exactly was bothering you. I couldn't understand why you were so mad and your unjustified anger pissed me off.

We went days without talking to each other, and I had my first experience with what it's like to miss someone so much it hurts. Never before had I understood exactly how much I depended on you.

You see, when you and I fight, it's like my entire life sort of stops for some time. It feels like stepping outside my body, and until you come back into my life and press the 'play' button, I'm watching everything from a third point of view. I couldn't concentrate on anything, my grades dropped and I had trouble paying attention, both to my teachers and to my friends. I had no energy; it was like you'd drained me empty. I shifted from unbearable apathy to an internal flaming rage that made my eyes sparkle simply by the mentioning of your name. I was angry at you for treating me like you did, but even angrier that I couldn't figure out _why_.

After about a week, I couldn't stand it anymore. I went to the big cliff at the beach, the one we found when we were kids. I sat there for hours, watching the tide carry the waves to the shore. I was watching the sunset when you heaved yourself onto the cliff. You didn't say anything, just sat down next to me. We watched the sunset together, and there was something about the setting that made me want to cry. It was like this wasn't the first time this had happened, like you and I had shared this moment before. When the last rays of sunlight disappeared into the ocean, you finally turned to look at me.

"I need you." Three simple words, and yet so powerful, so life altering. I didn't meet your eyes, I knew I'd cry if I did, so I just my placed my hand on yours, our fingers intertwining.

Everything felt good again for some time, things were finally starting to feel like before. My heart would pound a little faster in my chest every time I saw you and I'd get this warm feeling every time we touched, but I didn't notice too much of it. Then Namine, whom I hadn't spoken to since that night so long ago, suddenly needed to talk to me. I meant to tell you right after I'd seen her, I searched for you everywhere, but seeing as it happened to be a Friday, you could be anywhere. By the time I found you, you were long gone. Mentally, that is. Your pills had already kicked in, I could tell by the enthusiastic greeting when you saw me and how your eyes would lock with mine continuously, something they rarely did when you were sober. I lost the little of courage that I'd tried to build up by the sight of your energetic expression and resounding laughter. I let you get me drunk, I was done caring. Which is why I, hours later, told you that Namine was pregnant, giggling as I did so. You laughed with me, you laughed like it was the most hilarious thing you had ever heard.

I think that night was the first time we made love to each other. And I say that I think so, because I'm not sure. Your first time with someone… normally it's a bit clumsy, especially if you've been drinking. It's awkward and maybe even painful. It's not supposed to feel like everything just fell into place, like it's the purest, most wholesome, most important moment in your life up to then. But more importantly, it's not supposed to feel like it's happened before. You weren't supposed to know what I liked, how you could drive me crazy. But you did, and it seemed like you didn't even think it over, you just _did_ it. And even though we were heavily intoxicated, I remember everything vividly, every touch, every quickened breath.

You, too, were gone in the morning. I woke up in a stranger's house, not remembering how I'd gotten there. To top it off, I was still naked.

You had left town that night.

There was no note, no explanation.

You just left.

I hated you.

I hated myself.

To be fair, you couldn't possible know that Namine would have a miscarriage.

But that didn't make it easier to deal with.

And I learned that time doesn't heal all wounds. But it somehow stitches them back up and it dulls the pain to a level where you manage to cope with it.

O.o.o.X.o.o.O

I actually managed to make a life worth living, even with the level my grades were at. I worked my way towards the top in an advertising agency.

I hadn't been in my home town for years and I almost chocked on the coffee I'd just taken a sip of when I read the invitation to my cousin's wedding. Sora and Kairi?

I had never felt more nervous then when I returned home that summer. Obviously you would be there to watch your sister get married. I was anxious to meet you. What would you think of me? What would I say when we met for the first time in years?

I had never seen my cousin happier when I arrived the last weekend in July. The engagement party was over the top, but I never relaxed. I couldn't help but glance around the building every other minute, searching for you. And just when I was starting to worry that you might've died and people had just forgotten to tell me, I saw you. You glided through the premises as if you owned the place, your smooth laughter echoing through the room and earning curious glances as you made your way through the crowd of people, greeting everyone you knew and finally placing a soft hand on Kairi's shoulder in the corner where she, Sora and I were currently standing. Kairi visible lightened up at the sight of her older brother, and who could blame her? You were beautiful in your trendy, clean-cut suit and snow-white shirt, just like you've always been. You flashed a brilliant smile and reached out a hand to Sora, congratulating him and reminding him that if he needed help with anything at all, you were the man to ask. You then turned to me, our eyes locking for the first time in years.

So much time had passed, and still everything felt exactly like before.

I could see the intense, never-ending flame burning in your eyes and I could feel how I visible started glowing by the sight of you. When our hands touched, you obviously felt the rush of emotion that hit me like a gunshot as well, you glanced down at our hands and your eyes sparkled along with your growing smile when you greeted me.

Somewhere in the back of my head, a barely audible whisper that I didn't recognize as my own, murmured the words Second Chance.

We left the party early, escaping out on the dark streets, our blissful laughter echoing through the night as if we were carefree teenagers again. We spent hours catching up.

Our arguments were forgotten, our hurtful words forgiven.

By the time Kairi and Sora had finally tied the knot, we were officially a couple.

We didn't waste or Second Chance.

We got it right this time.

We took everything in the right order. We dated a while before buying an apartment together. We traveled a lot, filling photo albums after photo albums with your amazing pictures, redecorating our apartment, visiting friends and sometimes my mother or your sister and Sora, we went to the movies… we built a life together.

But to this date, I still worry about you when you're not around. I don't know what to do with myself, even if you're only gone for the day or the night. Your work involves some traveling, I already knew that when we got together again.

But just when it starts becoming unbearable, I hear the familiar sounds of our door getting unlocked and your muted footsteps in the hall. You call out my name, your voice bright and longing, and I always, _always_, drop whatever is in my hands and let you hold me for a few second, before you kiss me. And just by the taste of that kiss, I know exactly how your day has been, whether it's been long and tiring and just boring, or if today was a good day, or if you just spent it missing me just as much as I missed you.

I know why I can't relax when you're not around.

I'm afraid that when you walk out the door, you'll disappear somehow, emptiness will capture you or fate will take you away from me and I'll wake up screaming and realize that it was all just a dream, that you were never here, that we never got our Second Chance.

Many, many times when I think back to when we were younger, I've tried to figure out when I first realized that I was in love with you.

And I can't.

It feels like I've always known that it had to be me and you.

It's obvious, simple even.

You have always belonged to me and I have always been yours.


End file.
